I adored Rolf Harris. Didn't we all?
I loved the man. Loved his art. Loved his humanity with animals. Loved, absolutely loved, his eccentric musical career.
As the court case progressed, I became increasingly uneasy at what was coming to light.
His letter written to the parents of one of his accusers many years ago told us of a dark side to Rolf Harris that none of us knew about. He had kept it so well hidden.
Also, his claim to have never been to Cambridge, only for archive TV footage to be found that showed him in a 'It's a Knockout' style programme from Cambridge that was hosted by Michael Aspell.
The jury had been out, considering its verdict, for over a week. The longer they were deliberating, the more I became sure that some guilty verdicts may be returned.
But for a clean sweep of 12 verdicts of indecent assault to be given against him still came as a shock. He remains on bail before he returns to court on Friday to be sentenced. Surely, it will be a custodial sentence. He deserves nothing less and his victims deserve nothing less.
I am just left feeling lost that a happy part of my childhood has been wiped out as a lie. Just as it was with Jimmy Saville.
For generations of us, this collective memory has failed us and episodes of past vintage television programmes now will be destroyed or hidden into the dark recesses of the media archives.
As I said, I particularly loved his music and despite gentle ridicule from friends over many years, proudly claimed ownership of his 'Best of'...' album. 'Jake the Peg', 'Tie Me Kangaroo Down', 'Sun Arise' and his iconic 1969/1970 Number One, 'Two Little Boys' were just a few of the favourites. I adored them.
Now, I have destroyed that CD as a result of this afternoon's verdicts. Just as he has destroyed a part of my childhood. Just as his own reputation has been left in tatters.
My thoughts and condolences are with his victims at this difficult time.